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Life is still about finding “The One

Hey guys! I wanted to kick off my blog this year with a part two of my first article posted this day last year titled Single-Minded: Life is about Finding the One. For those who haven’t read it (here’s a link); but it basically explained how we should all (single or married) be single-minded – having or concentrating on only ONE aim, ONE purpose which is:



Matt 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you

I wanted to do a part two on Single-minded because I’ve grown so much in my understanding in this topic. Not the topic of singleness but the topic of seeking God and making that the priority of your life. 

It’s Valentines Day. Everyone’s focused on love, romance, relationships etc so I’d like to shift the focus. You see, a part of my growth since writing my first post is realizing that PEOPLE FOCUS ON THIS STUFF WAY TOO MUCH already. So I’m not going to waste my first post of 2018 talking about that stuff. The last thing I want to do is reinforce the emphasis on labels and relationship status’ on this day. In all actuality, if I made another post about “singleness” it would totally contradict everything I said in my initial post on this matter.

But God did put it on my heart to share some major lessons He taught me last year. Last year was probably the most consistent year I’ve ever had. Like most Christians, I’m usually only consistently inconsistent in my faith. Seeking God, limiting distractions, not doing things based on how I feel, weren’t things I truly prioritized in my life. But through the frustrations, wanting to quit, being uncomfortable, moments of chaos in my life I still strived to seek Him in everything I experienced. With that being said… I’ve been bragging about all of this growth I’ve experienced so let me share a few key lessons I learned:

  1. 1. “Stop seeking validation” 

Seeking validation is just a fancy way of saying wanting to be accepted by people. This is something I’ve battled with my entire life. I remember always feeling uneasy about how others perceived me. I was overly concerned with how my peers saw me and it only got worse getting older.  We think as we get older we just naturally grow out of things. We think just like we naturally grow out of clothes that we naturally outgrow childish ways of thinking just the same. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

All humans want validation. Most people want to go to sleep at night feeling like they’re perceived a good way. Most people want to be seen as a valued, contributing member of society. We get older and want people to see that we’ve grown up like we’re reaching our full potential.

Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.

What God showed me is I have to focus on being validated by Him. Is God pleased with my life? Is he pleased with the things I’m putting energy into? He taught me that the need for validation isn’t going anywhere but I HAVE TO shift who I’m seeking validation from.

2. “Embrace where I put you”

Boy oh boy, this was a tough lesson. You know, it’s tough to embrace a life you feel is unfair or a life you feel you don’t deserve. When you feel like you’ve just been handed the worst cards life could give it’s hard to embrace it. It’s hard to look at the people around you and smile. It’s hard to not be envious. It’s hard to be obedient to God when you barely want to wake up in the morning.

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

He revealed to me through the words of my brother: “God has you in a palace, not a prison.” I had to shift my perception. I had to change the way I saw my life, change the way I saw my finances, my family, my church, everything. He gave me a fresh new pair of eyes. My new eyes showed me he had me in the best place to bring out the best in me. I had to stop trying to run and learn to embrace. 

3. Stop running

I’ve always been a runner. Running away and ignoring things feels good. Feels like you’re being “drama-free”; gives you a false sense of growth. And it’s interesting because running looks different on everyone. For some people, it’s apathy; some its depression or isolation. Some people just try to be plain old invisible. They hide behind busyness, “hustling,” children, marriages etc.

God showed me the pain running from Him brings. The meaningless relationships and desperate decisions we make when we run. The wasted potential. Just the overall sorrow we operate by when we run. You see, when you’re running from your calling things just don’t make sense. You don’t thrive in the world. You never truly feel validated. You’re just numb, empty, and going through the motions.

Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden;

When I look at my life, I see some of the breadcrumbs. God called me. There’s a large collection of gifts, resources, and burdens he place in us for His purpose and they’re only revealed through our pursuit of Him. So we can’t waste time running we have to take our place. 

4. Take your Place

As a person who enjoys listening more than talking, a person who would rather not be involved in any “weighty-matters”, a person who could literally care-less about other people and their problems..

Side note: not sure if people quite understand how much the non-believer version of Antoinette could care-less than less about them and their problems, I’m very selfish in that way but when you care about the things God cares about sometimes that includes people and their problems but anyways… 

Ephesians 5:8 For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.

I always felt like it wasn’t my place to speak the truth to people. Even as a 27-year old woman, I struggle with saying the hard things to people because it didn’t feel like it was my place. But he taught me it has to be: Obedience Over Everything. He has already positioned a lot of us to say the truth to the people around us. He’s already set the stage for us to do his will; we just have to learn to take that role and rise to the occasion.

So single, married, divorced, whatever your relationship status is this post is for you. Let’s all grow in our love life with God. I truly believe through seeking Him all of those things will come together according to His purpose. I hope you’re blessed by these lessons and I will learn to be more consistent with this blogging stuff throughout this year.