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Life is definitely about finding “The One

This is Part one of: the Single- Minded series. I know, it’s Valentine’s Day and all you’re seeing are #baegoals on your timeline. Perhaps it doesn’t bother you because it’s “your season of singleness” (I hate that phrase btw). Perhaps you think Valentine’s Day is dumb so you pay it no mind (usually me). Maybe, you’re happily dating (???) and this day really means a lot to you. Whatever your situation is todays post is for you.

Now, I could easily ask just about any of my Christian girl/guy friends if they desire marriage someday and they’d all probably quickly answer yes. It makes me think…is it wrong to desire love and marriage? What will this desire say about my faith if it never happens? Is it what God wants for me? “He that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing,” right? But beyond being right or wrong I think it’s a critical matter that deserves some critical thinking.

Finding the “ONE”

Now, as innocent as it sounds…as well-intentioned as it may be…The time and energy spent over seeking love is misallocated. Singles act as if the bible says love from another human being will bring some sort of wholeness to our lives. As if it’s the holy grail of life. I’m sure if you asked any married couple, they will agree that it’s not. Don’t get me wrong, God-centered love is a BEAUTIFUL thing, but for the Christian, it does NOT make your life complete.

As believers, our desire for those things end up causing us to waste our singleness. The singleness that Paul strongly encouraged because we can do more in the kingdom with fewer distractions. (Corinthians 7:7-8)

The time we could be giving our WHOLE selves to the unique things God has laid on our hearts to do… all goes to waste. We literally go from being singles spending our time chasing: love, careers, beauty, fun, money, likes on instagram etc to being married people spending our time chasing:  love, careers, beauty, fun, money, likes on instagram etc..My point is we can’t waste this time we have, chasing something that is only in God’s control. I know it’s not what anyone wants to hear but if we are believers, with NEW minds…

Philippians 2:5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus

…we have to rewire our brains even as it relates to our desires. Let’s start by redefining what it means to be “single” so we can have a healthy perspective on it. When you look at “single” as a verb it means:

sin·gle – verb – choose someone or something from a group for special treatment.

First, we have to see ourselves as special, chosen people. Understanding that we believe there’s an all-knowing, sovereign, God that is intentional and adds purpose to everything in our lives..including our singleness. That purpose is something only God can reveal to you. As you operate in this new mind, your desires shift.  The very singleness that caused you pain and frustration will in turn be used to do his will.

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

Let’s be “single-minded”

sin·gle-mind·ed – having or concentrating on only ONE aim or purpose.

That ONE AIM, that ONE PURPOSE has to be Matt 6:33 which reads:

Matt 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

As a believer, I’m single-mindedly focused on my new aim, my new purpose. I now seek HIM. Every day I wake up, it’s no longer about my wants and desires, it’s Lord how can I please you? How can I encourage others? How can I use the gifts and time you gave me on this Earth to do YOUR will. Then he says “And all these things will be added unto you.” So in addition to his righteousness (which he clearly wants us to know is of the upmost importance) all the other things will be ADDED.

Bonus read: Romans 8:5-6 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

We must accept that life is out of our control and trust that anything we actually NEED is something God will surely provide. Yes, the scripture says

Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.

But finding someone is not the same as SEARCHING for someone. As you live out your God-driven life he will place things in your path that you will FIND.

Yes another scripture says…

Gen 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an helper for him.

But GOD acknowledged Adam needed a helper, not the other way around.  When we try to self-diagnose ourselves and tell God what we think we need, we become unfit to be used.

So again, we have to rewire our brains. Enjoy your single days and make the most of your time trusting and knowing there’s a God who handpicked you for a purpose RIGHT NOW. He has singled you out for a purpose that’s beyond you.

Leave a comment below, share with your circle!



  1. Jeff Lee

    Strong points from God’s perspective and this article has given me affirmation in my thoughts moving forward.

  2. Christine

    I wanted to thank you for this excellent read!!

    I’m definitely enjoyed every bit off it. I’ve got you bookmarked too look att new stuff you add.

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